Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
