I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
