just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
