How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Randomize
