How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
