I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
