wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
