sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
