I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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