I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
you never un-have a 4some
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
