try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
