I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
