Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
