i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
