mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My sheets look like a crime scene.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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