some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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