After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize