Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
