We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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