If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
