dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So much rum. So many feels.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
