i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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