the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
