I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
