party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he shaved USA in his pubs
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
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The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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