Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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