i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
