I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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