just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
