It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
