haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
