i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
