There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
