Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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