i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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