Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Shame - the story of my life.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize