talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
