just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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