Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
