The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
