D3 body, D1 cock
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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