Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
