Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
