it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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