Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
