and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
