Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
