But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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