blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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