I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
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It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
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Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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