so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
