I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
