Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize