and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
