Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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