Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
